Change is a binary event in the human experience.
You either feel excitement.
Or you struggle.
Most of us know intellectually that growth requires movement. We want the promotion. We want the bigger house. But let’s be honest: even when the outcome is positive, letting go of the familiar hurts. There is a specific kind of sadness in packing up boxes, leaving behind the comfort of what used to be.
For adults, this is complicated. It’s unavoidable, sure, but manageable. For a child? It’s a different beast entirely. Their world is supposed to be stable. When the floor shifts, they don’t have the same coping mechanisms. They panic. They withdraw. They act out.
So, what is the practical way to guide a kid through this? How do you maintain patience when their anxiety feels like it’s suffocating the entire house?
Darby Strickland tackles this exact issue in a conversation with Focus on the Family. She breaks down how to remain the steady ground beneath your child’s feet while their external life is undergoing upheaval. It isn’t about fixing their feelings. It’s about presence.
Here is how you actually help your child cope with major transitions.
Walking Alongside During Transition
The first step is simply staying put.
When a child is navigating a big change—whether it’s a new school, a move, or a family disruption—they are looking for consistency. You cannot rush them through it. You have to walk alongside them.
This means acknowledging the difficulty without trying to immediately “fix” the emotional fallout. It means sitting in the mess with them. If you try to bypass the sadness with excessive optimism, you invalidate their experience. Strickland emphasizes that comfort comes from connection, not correction. Let them be uncomfortable. Your job is to be there while they are.
Reassuring Through Faith and Presence
Strickland points to a specific source of stability that isn’t moving.
Children can learn that they are not carrying their emotional burden alone. By introducing them to the concept of an unchanging hope, you provide an anchor. In a Christian context, this looks like reassuring your child that God is present through every shift.
“Fear not, for I am with you” (Isaiah 41:10).
This isn’t just a nice verse. It’s a functional tool. It helps a child externalize their fear. They bring the grief to a higher power and see that divine love is sufficient for the weight they are carrying. Even if you don’t identify with this specific theological framework, the principle remains: show your child they have support beyond the immediate crisis.
Embracing Change as a Family Unit
You don’t have to handle upheaval in isolation.
Part of helping your child adjust is modeling how the whole family handles the stress. If parents are frantic, children become frantic. If the family unit stays calm and united, the child senses safety. Embrace the change together. Talk about it. Acknowledge what is being lost and what is being gained. Make the transition a shared narrative, not a secret burden.
Finding Help When It Gets Tough
Sometimes, parental support isn’t enough.
If your child is deeply struggling—showing signs of prolonged anxiety, depression, or behavioral regression—you may need professional intervention. Focus on the Family offers access to caring Christian counselors. They provide listening ears, prayer, and a path toward healing. They can also direct you to local resources if you need in-person therapy.
You don’t have to figure this out alone. The line is open. Call 1-800-A-FAMIL Y (232-645) during business hours. Leave your number. They’ll call you back.
Additional Resources
If you are looking for more structured advice, Strickland has written extensively on this topic.
For those interested in deepening their approach, there are books and booklets available that focus on helping children through upheaval. These resources often come with member benefits, including free shipping and exclusive access to guides like Big Change Happened. If you’re willing to support the organization, these materials can be part of your toolkit. But the core work—the sitting, the listening, the loving—that happens in the living room. Not on a page.
Change will always be hard. But you don’t have to be afraid of it.
The conversation continues online, on Apple Podcasts, or through their app. Listen in. See how others are navigating the storm. You might find that you’re not the only one holding the line.
Or you might find out you’re doing better than you think. Either way, the work continues.
